How to get over narcissist ex reddit. 3 years later and I’m still trying to get over my ex.

• How to get over narcissist ex reddit I don’t know if it was specifically designed to deal with narcissistic people, but it works wonders on people with NPD or just narcissistic traits. So I don’t know how soon I will get my things. Some signs I missed of my narcissist ex were: too much too soon / feeling inseparable and getting serious within a few weeks of meeting, doing everything you want or not having an So was she a narcissist? I'm desperate to understand, so I can have closure and move on. Any delay is likely to escalate in some type of verbal assault. I got a one-time order, but he’s ignoring the deputies’ phone calls. Never do favors for a narcissist - this encourages bad behavior. . Here’s some things I’ve learned: I’m guessing you were good to him, cause they choose people like that. I wasn’t “discarded” by my covert narcissistic ex but I wised up one day after another episode of his emotional abuse, therefore I TW: self harm ***EDIT*** Ex fits the bill to be quiet BPD and not a narcissist. Keep reading for expert tips on how to recover after being discarded by someone with narcissistic traits. The most important thing is to set strong boundaries for yourself. Then I found They can't stand the fact that you let them leave, they can't stand the idea that you don't need them. Everything happened over such a long period (26 years) that I didn't even realize Knowing what my nex did, how HE APPROACHED ME when he had someone, tried to use me, and then just kicked me aside for them when I found out with no remorse and not even an Hello everyone, I was wondering if compliments from a narcissist or encouragement from a narcissist are ever real or based in reality? When I was with my now ex boyfriend, there were I totally understand what you're saying because I am also having a hard time accepting that my ex could be a narcissist. Secondly, it will be hard at first but you need to keep yourself occupied with things to do. This in turn feeds their disorder, so now they're getting what they want! The good news is, we can You either love them for everything they are, including the abuse and shitty behavior, let them walk over you, become a doormat, lower your self-confidence, allow them to treat you like But once you get to know them, you realize they are the perpetual victim in some bizarre, endless story of persecution, expressing feelings of unnoticed superiority any chance they get. He tried everything. So eventually once you've learnt as much as possible try and move forward by reading other kinds of books, watching other kinds of videos and We talked. I used to think that I could gain a narcissist's approval or dissuade them from hurting me by killing them with kindness. My narcissist ex gaslit and cucked me, too. But of course I got deep again. Once that sheet is as filled out as you can get it, get a Excellent points. But I never got the She was only 26. (ex friend’s — let’s call her Narcissist Nancy), well the new neighbour (Innocent So we get offended by a narcissist, we take the bait, get mad, and start arguing with them. I blocked his phone numbers and blocked his My ex has jumped on all the abuse cases coming out at the moment in my country. DISCOVERING PAINFUL TRUTHS: Now that it’s over you have to face the I’ve dated people with overt narcissist traits and although it’s taken more than once to fully walk away, the signs were obvious so it was easier to see them for who they were and cut ties. Every interaction with him was about him trying to tear me down. When the People looking in, who aren't overly aware (even if they have experienced it) look for them early on, don't see, and some fall into the same trap over and over. I am 32F. I know you all are aware and In the meantime, the best way to deal with a narcissist-coworker/boss is to make sure that any instructions they give you are either heard/witnessed by other workers or are in written form The way they get that, could be by being a victim due to your no contact. I'm trying to get over a narc, and it's hard because I find myself being addicted to the brief moments where he showed me the minimal No more than five sessions. It feels different from the times I wondered what was “wrong with me” with people before; it feels like I know exactly I think you're right that they just want what they cannot get and honestly idk if he really would become obsessed over me since he was so obsessed over his ex plus he discarded me as if I Hey it will get better. I have been told by a pyschiatrist that people with borderline personality disorder tend to get better as they get older My ex boyfriend was a neglectful narcissist: he simply ignored me and when we “broke up” he ghosted me. When I ended it and asked if the last 10 months meant anything to him he said it doesn’t matter and I know suspecting you're a narcissist doesn't automatically mean you aren't one, and many self-aware narcissists exist. The hardest part is literally walking away — staying to reason, argue, plead, cajole, persuade, give countless chances to, communicate Thank you for this. Just remember it's not a competition to get over someone or get with someone. I imagine Hi u/kintsugiwarrior, thanks for your post!Hopefully one of our friendly r/TrueNarcissisticAbuse subscribers will comment soon! While you are waiting check out some of the resources in the Get the Reddit app Scan this QR code to download the app now. The difference is that, in the narcissist, those Recently my covert narcissist ex wife (divorced 2 months ago) and mother of my child started dating a good friend of mine (15+ years). I loved her with everything but she put me through hell. Earlier traits of these people : Specifically predators like the narcissist. My malignant narcissist ex said the same exact things recently, he was trying to get me back though. I My ex GF broke up with me a month ago and we went no contact for about 3 weeks until she messaged me on snapchat asking if she could come over and I said yes. well her friend The "she" you were in love with never existed. I get the same EXACT feeling thinking about my ex Narc, it’s the most crippling, suffocating, terrifying feeling, you explained They take any criticism as a major attack on themselves and their image. Begin by Narcissists thrive on manipulation. If you don't give them power over your emotions and actions, No matter how much your heart aches and how bad you hurt, I promise you will heal and get over it: Here's how I got over a 1+ year relationship with who I thought was the love of my life and So it’s been months or years and you get a text from your ex narc or someone you suspect is a narc and you’re unsure if it’s hoovering or genuine reconciliation? Here’s what I learned. Perhaps they are not 100% narcissists but they are to a certain extent, Despite knowing my ex for over a decade, it's unreal how little I know about him because he hid himself 24/7. It also gives them the This happened over and over, and we were "fired" by 2 therapists that said if she can't stay in the sessions, we couldn't make progress, and they could not in good conscience continue to Couldn’t have said it better those three steps definitely. Narcs are great liars. His ex-wife is a narcissist to the core. Fill that sheet out. I find she likes to know my business, but doesn't share hers and her settings are wierd on Facebook. They can't stand ever being wrong, or having any kind of flaws. He communicated openly. Two weeks Also, my narcisstic ex has insulted me so bad over the past months. Therapists share how to take control away from a narcissist, plus how to shut one down safely. Dealing with the likes of a narcissist as an ex is a whole different animal than someone who isn't, and some people who find this subreddit may be He would smile as he dealt out the abuse, he'd laugh and make fun of me for crying. " YES! I remember being a teenager and crying because my throat hurt so bad and my parents refused to do anything about it. If she talked too Mine did this! Minus the teddy bear (he would get me other stuff), but be so short and then the next day act as if nothing was wrong. I think that makes you the victim of a narcissist. Look up "narcissist no contact". this confirms how insignificant you are (in their view), it proves that all the abuse is justified, as long as you come back every time. They want to prove to themselves that you do not have a better life without them, they If you want that then at least go into it with eyes wide open not with any kind of delusion. The other day I visited her and I told her I Something I have been wondering about recently. Describing her behavior to a couple close friends had their jaws dropping at the things Step 15: You start realizing through the help of Reddit and someone who’s been with a narcissist and understands their complexion very well that the only way to get out and end the They are the consummate victim, no matter what. If they say “I just won an The "she" you were in love with never existed. The "mask" outward qualities of a narcissist are EVERYTHING that an Also, being a child of a narcissist, a victim of one, and you being someone who is seeking out help, I don't think that makes you a narcissist. You might be in contact with people who My ex kept my belongings because he legit thought of it as collateral. Short golden period for the current supply, followed by devaluation, Parallel parenting has been the best thing for my husband's sanity as well. Period. The new kids are turning EMDR into a money-making machine and they don’t know what they’re doing. So I get it 100% My sub is called just search it on reddit DementiaPLUS. Get outside into nature, it’s very healing. It has been unbelievably bad. It took a while for my brain to normalize but I had to recognize that beyond the narcissist, I had to nip in the bud whatever was within me that drew I'm just feeling my best girlfriend is a narcissist. Was anyone else's 2:Get a bulldog of a lawyer who is informed about what she is and is on your side, if the first lawyer is distracted or seems to be unsure of what she is get another one (trust me on this, Partly because my ex fits the covert narc mold more than the overt narcissist many people have been struggling with. First, I didn’t realise he could be a narcissist, he was just giving me this bad vibe and kept making me very uncomfortable. The power narcissist have is over people's emotions and actions. You might not Because they will try to get you to get emotional or upset. You have no control over this, and attempting to get "revenge" is futile. and told me he'll kill himself because of me, but turns out this wasn't something he meant (I was actually concerned). They will give people the silent treatment, and get My ex insinuated he had a horrible disease in his lungs (cancer or something just as deadly) but didn’t want to talk about it, or do anything about it. When I found out I was upset because knowing the Should I wish my narcissist ex happy birthday So I had a pretty horrific breakup after being with a narcissist for two years. I have healed significantly in that time. watching everything I can find on Youtube about narcissism and narcissistic abuse. It was the typical love bombing, devaluing and then trauma bond. Or check it out in the app stores   How to get over the negative remarks made by a Narcissist. After that, my ex's life just continued to spiral and got further addicted to drugs. ” Turns out he I (F19) have been with my boyfriend (M22) for over a year and we’ve become incredibly close. I’m so scared it’s going to be hard to learn and study because I They are the consummate victim, no matter what. I like to think that despite all that has happened that healing is possible as long as you never deny the opportunity and possibility of overcoming it. We had been together a year before this happened the first time. I cut contact again and was happy, but then after a while I started missing him so much I was obsessing over him, She was a poisonous person. Most research points to the fact they are really pretty miserable and self-loathing on the inside. It There are certain types of narcissists who are more “shy” and seem more introverted that are commonly referred to as covert narcissists. He used to threaten and tell me to get out of his house Even a friend saying that the narcissist was talking shit about you and looking for a response is the narcissist trying to get feed from you. I found out he First of all, you’ve already taken the correct first step in healing- and thats blocking her. It'll probably get worse before it gets better. When my ex first mentioned the new supply, he said, “nobody would choose her over you and I still want to be with you, not her, I won’t be with her”. I was distant at the start, didn't want to get too deep. She was mad because she was not In Control. I am definitely getting She is wonderful in every way and I owe her a great debt. But I still get stricken by flashbacks occasionally Don't get caught in the mud of toxicity the narcissist is in. As hard as it can be, I didnt try to make them Grey rock technique. The "she" that exists is an abuser who manipulated you from day 1 to get what she wanted. So, for instance, my ex always used to comment on my body. 3 years later and I’m still trying to get over my ex. ) Get a lawyer who has experience in dealing with narcissists. I was It took me becoming close friends with narc over 4-5 years before I finally figured out what narcs are and how my mom was actually a narc too and that’s why I allowed that person (and exes) I'm (26M) struggling 7 months later ): not sure how to get over Narcissist Ex (26M) - bad breakup (traumatized me) Trigger Warning TW: self harm ***EDIT*** Ex fits the bill to be quiet BPD and I have stopped communicating with my narcissistic ex. So he would say things to me, but often because he felt guilty for talking to I happen to have cut off my Nex and haven't spoken to her since November 2020, I blocked her off of everywhere and she had tried to come back about 20 days later, basically asking for me My ex is a covert narcissist, which makes him sneaky as well. If you want to keep the mutuals around, either you need to REALLY trust them 20 years is a long time and it's bound to take time for you to get over things. That is I'm healing. I can’t seem to fully process what this person has put me through. Love bombing x10000, told me how much he misses me, how much he wants to see me, how I once dated a borderline/narcissist who, for 2 years, posted constantly about their happy relationship and being madly in love with each other. Your behavior Oh yea, my ex said his boundaries were keeping his decade long ex around that he cheated on me with because of dogs. There’s a part of me that stupidly wants him to Hoover but I also know I'm in a process of healing too. If I’d kept looking at his pictures and seeing what he was up to I’d still be in square one right now. He tried talking to her in I can almost guarantee that your healing will not begin until you stop stalking. We were still speaking/sleeping together up until very recently and now he’s my ex could do whatever she wanted to do, so finally after the second or third time finding emotional cheating (couldn’t verify if physical happened) i downloaded tinder. I once dated a borderline/narcissist who, for 2 years, posted constantly about their happy relationship and being madly in love with each other. And I recommend Eat healthier foods. She would break *If you go to a church, they will suddenly get religious and go to the same church, because it’s a public place and if you get upset they can tell people you’re crazy. It is a My narcissist ex taught me the value of loving me, that all I've wanted all along is to be loved by myself. Call it an "extinction burst" where One time, after I declined yet another party invitation, my narc ex best friend told me (with a huge smile on her face) that I should just come along to the party because, "If I get covid I'll Educate yourself. Read positive books. I imagine All I can say is that I'm going through the same shit. Do it at a pace that you feel comfortable. I was ostracized for calling out the narcissist for cheating/homewrecking and later I found out wife abusing. I left the place where we both worked 6 weeks ago. Also, unfortunately—my Narcissistic ex was a few iotas less Narcissistic than my Abusive parents. I'd beg him to please not cheat or treat me like he did and he'd tell me if I was better, he wouldn't have to. I, personally, consider it a rage. He would always say “those are my boundaries, I won’t choose you I started a sub on this subject as I too have a mother who is a covert narcissist who was abusive to me. If you need to ugly cry then you ugly Curious how many live next to a narcissist neighbor and how it's been living next to one over the years. My soulmate I thought. I So, you should go no contact, and look for a therapist that helps you. Also, If you want that then at least go into it with eyes wide open not with any kind of delusion. It Getting over a relationship is rarely easy, but the transition can feel far more confusing, stressful, and heart-wrenching if you love someone with narcissistic personality My ex was a true narcissist and I think he may also be autistic with a major self-preservation instinct and very very little insight. That’s actually the first thing I did when I was released. With her religious leader, they convinced me to fast excessively. Just keep in mind that not everyone with narcissistic tendencies has 1. These I get so angry over the injustice and cruelty he has caused me. Get them to hate each other and fight over the narcissist. If he’s a narcissist I think he finally discarded me. I think the sooner you get his stuff out of your place, the I am at the tail end of this. You get the strength and courage up just to have ppl defend them and their atrocities. This will not only For now, just focus on yourself and your self-improvement. You could manipulate them just by mimicking them and lying about stuff if Although I just cringed at how hard he was trying to get me to succumb to bullshit. We went through the narcissism diagnosis in the dsm I think what might help with your closure is that regardless of whichever she has, they're both in the same cluster, one will have traits of the other, and both are permanent. It’s like being abused all over again and of course, this gives the narcissist control and the upper hand. When your ex realizes you're gone for good, they'll try to get updates about you through your mutual friends. To be honest, she's the more innocent of narcissists I've My ex was a true narcissist and I think he may also be autistic with a major self-preservation instinct and very very little insight. I stopped almost 6 months ago. The posts So I looked it up in the DSM-5 she exhibits 8 of the 9 indicators for narcissistic personality disorder. I've been back and forth with a narc the 4. Think of the things you did for him, make a list, and do those They can't stand the fact that you let them leave, they can't stand the idea that you don't need them. If you have a hobby you had lost while with the narcissist try to pick it up slowly. She could I told myself “he’s only like this because of his complex PTSD” plus, we did love each other but love isn’t enough. Karpman drama triangle’s operate with persecutor, victim, rescuer. But when I Right there with you, I'm looking for the same answers. It was painstaking for me. It takes time to feel better and get over your ex. This really helped me because I recognized that my If you’ve had a bad breakup with a narcissist, you might be tempted to get back at them. So my ex would have occasional moments of sentience and self-awareness, and he One of the crappiest parts of recovering from a narc (particularly the covert type) is that others didnt see the true side so they don’t understand. I recommend you stick it on your fridge or nightstand and add to it over the course of a week or so. He finally returned my pants in a last ditch attempt to get me back. I lost 20kg, and then they told Alternately, they may use your disengagement as a ploy to manipulate others ("My ex abandoned me!"). If she wasn't a narcissist, what accounts for her behavior? I'm starting to wonder if there really is evil A lot of narcissists aren't really that smart. My therapist has been in practice over 20 In this case I would *strongly* suggest just changing your number, and be very selective on who you give it out to. But slowly. The problem is that there's no "alienation police", and that we have no recourse, when the other parent is screwing us over constantly. You are yearning for how things used to be when your relationship was good. The pain while and after the relationship was the worst pain I have . Then I found My ex from a decade long relationship who I've been doing my best to distance myself from over the last year is a covert narcissist. You don't "get My ex before going poly convinced me that I was doing all these things to her. I took care of her and she changed her will four weeks before she died to punish me over trivial issues. He comes off as a very smart, together, law-abiding family man. I remember falling asleep dreaming of running my ex over with my car, then backing over him again, then driving over him once more, you know, for good luck. When I started focusing on me, I no longer had/made space for them in my thoughts. It's the only cure, I had an off again and on again relationship with my narcissist ex for over 7 months. Anyways he lied to me like he always would, and claims he "couldn't get a plane ticket. That said, when I first got out I was emotionally all over the place, self absorbed, had no space for anyone else. And learn more about narcissism and the three stages of a relationship with one. My You get the idea. Ramani and The Little Shaman on general knowledge about narcissists. The irrational ideas of control he has just makes me snap at Ultimately, I was able to get over it by choosing to focus on myself, my needs, my future, etc. I can love me. We went through the narcissism diagnosis in the dsm I would say it took me a little over 8 years to get over him. My narcissist staff will be leaving the position soon but the drama continues. I pined for him badly the first time he discarded me. It's been over 3 years since my former close friend did severe damage to my life. This. I'm afraid a judge won't believe I am the true victim. He was just “waiting to die. I found discussing my ex with anyone led to two possible outcomes - they would reinforce my self-doubt by judging my choices of being with him in the first place, or they would Some of them are intelligent and know how to cover up their tracks. You fell into the narcissist's trap by acting "out of character" after she ran a smear campaign against you. when I first wanted to get away, I treated myself as an addict. They want to prove to themselves that you do not have a better life without them, they Then I met my actual boyfriend and I thought I was finally over my ex. My ex got a protective order on me after I told him I was leaving Yes. I've been back and forth with a narc the I am not sure but I THINK my ex is either a narcissist or an avoidant. A required Normalizing the inappropriate behavior is/was something that’s going to be the hardest to get over. I was with him for 20 years and after he discarded me my Those very human things are what someone who is an actual narcissist will latch onto and run with in order to classify their target as one. You can read about them online to see if they Left her over a year ago and today I see she messaged me on LINKED IN like WHAT THE FUCK, on Christmas, Probably to be like “hey how are you I hope you had a good Christmas. As a narcissist, I don't have anything of value to give to anyone and I Omg. But I was best friends with my ex for almost 40 years, and together in a relationship for 10. I tried to lose weight to conceive a child. I think you're right that they just want what they cannot get and honestly idk if he really would become obsessed over me since he was so obsessed over his ex plus he discarded me as if I I thought my dad wasn’t a narcissist because he bought me an iPhone when he felt bad not going to any of my meetings for my severe OCD that almost took my life when I was 10 years old, I My covert narcissist ex of almost 2 months just texted me happy birthday a few minutes after midnight aka one of the first people on WhatsApp using his number as well as a text from a So my covert narcissist ex (34M) who is a covert narcissist has withhold closure. recognize that a relationship with a narcissist is inherently addictive. One thing I do know is that when he I (M29) have been doing a lot of research lately due to a breakup (2 years), looking for obvious mistakes I made in my relationship and trying to reflect them and make myself a better person. The self-hatred and discontent they feel A decoy account is the best option and I feel you 100 percent. Initially I thought I was the only target. They just have no conscience and they lie to get whatever they want. He was very complementary and thoughtful and loving at the Triangulate the recent discarded supply with the current one. If you think he is a narc there is little chance of change. I read everywhere that narcissists hoover and are like desperate to having you Yep. This is a guy I dated, and I know so little!. He is sharing them all and saying things like "victims must get justice" and talking about how terrible abuse This needs to be stickied somehow. I recommend Dr. And above all, (I cant stress this enough. The hardest part is literally walking away — staying to reason, argue, plead, cajole, persuade, give countless chances to, communicate I relate strongly to this. I'm now Exactly. We talked and she This is where I've thought that perhaps I'm the narcissist. My fake female friend preyed on me from a very young age and worked behind my back to get my ex to attempt rape and Narcissistic individuals have violent outburst when you fuck with them, whatever you think the worst risk is for doing this, multiply it by 2-10 and that will give you a more accurate window of She's just another challenge for them. It’s insane how narcissist all follow the same basic game plan. Tho very similar, it explains a lot more about his tendencies. My narc ex is 33. You get that anxiety📈📈 when you block them because they distracted you from the uncomfortable parts of your life. Offered comfort and help with whatever I need including emotional support (I One thought leads to a hundred more. Now your supply is over, I’m Get the Reddit app Scan this Did your narcissist ex reach out again to you? Concerned After I exposed my narcissistic ex for what he did to me, I wonder if he’s going to reach out again, My biggest worry right now is that I’m going back to college for pre health to get into nursing and I also need to study for my g1. We’re completely best friends. In their perspective, she's just a higher mountain to climb, so they just need to triple the effort of love Narcissist ex put me in jail over BS now I'm afraid he will take my son. His cousin and best friend, ended up dropping dead in my ex's house not even a month after That’s probably one of the hardest parts of leashing a narc. My parents would get annoyed with me all the time because I It tapers off each passing day. They will still groom her, that's their way of living. She should scream and isolate me from friends an family. But that relationship Even after a divorce, narcissists expect immediate responses to their text, phone, or email messages. I am a dad, and I left my ex-wife two years ago, and we have a 9 year old Thirdly the fact that you think I owe you some sort of proof when I asked a general question on this sub shows how much of a triggered cluster B you truly are.